If you don’t want to know the answer. . .

by Mom Meets Blog

As I was writing a short bio for a post I was submitting where I had to ‘name three things you like to do’, my son walked into the kitchen on his eternal quest for a snack. Watching him rummage through the refrigerator, I wondered about his teenaged view of his middle-aged mom. Seen through his lens am I just some one-dimensional obliging automaton, existing to simply fulfill his needs for food/clothes/money/a ride/just about anything? Or does he see me as living, breathing, flesh and blood human being with my own needs, dreams, personality and life to lead? Does he even notice what type of music I like to listen to, what my interests are, how I take my coffee? Curious, eager, and maybe a little scared to find out, I asked him:

“What are 3 things you think I like to do?”

Pensively swirling his spoon in his yogurt, he seemed caught off guard by such a question – is she serious?/is this is a trick question?/am I gonna get in trouble?/what time of the month is it? were all easily read on his face as he sized up the situation. What does mom like to do? Is that such a novel concept?

“Welllll, you like to be happy.” Awww, that’s sweet and besides, the alternative sucks. Yes, it’s all fun and games until your happy hormones start drying up – it’s good to know that he doesn’t think I’m some miserable troll as I roller coaster my way through this perimenopausal minefield.

“You like to buy stuff at Sephora.” Okay, that’s true and at least he’s observant about it – Mother’s Day is coming up so that should make gift-buying a no-brainer.

“And. . . you like asserting your control over others.” Say what now? By ‘others’, I’m assuming he means him. Still, the comment sounds a little Fifty Shades of Grey – I’m going to have to check that kid’s Kindle. Liking to exert control over all things aside, isn’t part of the parent/teen dynamic a test of wills, a battle over control? If telling him that:

No, 30 degrees is not shorts weather even if the calendar says it’s spring; and

Yes, you have to put your name on your homework every single time because you are not so ‘swaggy’ that your teachers will just recognize your handwriting; and

No, having the closed-captioning on while watching ‘Let’s Be Cops‘ does not count as independent reading; and

Yes, proper aim and flushing is always required bathroom etiquette all fall under the auspices of being controlling, then I’m guilty. Call it control, rules, boundaries, discipline, whatever – at 14, he doesn’t realize or appreciate the chaos his life would be without it. While being deemed a cheerful, cosmetic hoarding control freak is no Hallmark card, I embrace it – it’s a small price to pay for turning out a responsible, productive human being.

My heightened snarky senses can already feel the ‘Jeez mom – if you don’t want to know the answer then don’t ask the question’ forming in his smart-alecky little mind, just waiting to jump onto his tongue and spring forth from his lips. I can’t argue with his assessment so I’m going to let this one go. Better I should just let him finish his yogurt – he’s probably delusional from adolescent hunger. I make a mental note to get more probiotics into his diet.

“Um, can I go now?” he questions, trying to slowly edge his way out of the kitchen to safety.

“Yeah. Go. Now.” I say in my most non-controlling, happy tone of voice as I continue typing and notice that my nail polish is chipping, which reminds me that I’m almost out of my favorite shade and a trip to Sephora is in the near future. . .

4Apr2015

Walking Tall

by Mom Meets Blog

Something upset my son recently, and it took me rather by surprise. None of the usual suspects were to blame, like me snooping through his iPhone, or subjecting him to my passive-aggressive parenting techniques (yet again!) or me nagging him to put his dirty clothes in the hamper for the bazillionth time.

What propelled him into a moody funk was something quite small, measuring merely one-quarter of an inch.

When the nurse measured his height at his yearly physical the other day, it was confirmed that he is a full 1/4 inch taller than me.

Yep, my baby, my one and only, the love of my life, was officially taller than his mom.

I can attest to the fact that all the clichés are true – kids grow up so fast, don’t blink or you’ll miss it, the days are long but the years are short. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I reveled in his squeals of hysterical delight as I pretended to be the Cookie Monster, munching on all his delicious little cookie toes? Today you couldn’t pay me enough to go near those very non-cookie smelling feet, but I digress.

Actually I’m kind of excited that soon he’ll probably be quite a bit taller than me – any day now I can retire the step stool I use in the kitchen to reach stuff in the high cabinets; I’m always tripping over that damn thing.

But while I was figuring out all the ways I could use his height to my advantage, it turns out that his view on this recent development was less than positive.

When I called him for dinner later that day, I found him in his room going through a pile of Matchbox cars that hadn’t seen the light of day in years – not really playing with them, but just turning them over in his hands – considering them.

“Honey, what are you doing?” I asked.

“Nothing. Just visiting my childhood” he answered.

Ugh. Smelling the angst in the air, I asked him what was up.

“I don’t want to be taller than you” he said quietly.

“That’s what’s bothering you? Not wanting to be taller than me?” I responded.

Shrugging his shoulders, he said “I guess I’m just not ready to grow up.”

Ah, there it was. He wasn’t considering the cars. He was considering what they represented. The journey to grown-up is a bumpy one, and you never know what might trip them up along the way. Just as my heart swells with pride and love and joy for my teenage man-child, right then it ached with the growing pains he was experiencing, perhaps more child than man at that moment.

“It’s okay to feel this way; there’s a lot going on with school and friends and other stuff, and sometimes it’s nice to think back to when times were simpler. We just have to talk about it when you’re feeling this way, okay? “

“Yeah”.

Having witnessed enough push-up and arm-wrestling contests to realize that we’ve arrived at the competing-with-dad portion of the program, I attempted to lighten the mood by asking, “Well, how are you going to feel when you’re taller than dad?”

Brightening at the bait he said, “Oh no, that’s different – I can’t wait to be taller than dad!” Who, by the way, is considerably taller than me – I guess logic doesn’t play well with puberty!

Being one half of a mother/son bond equation himself, I sought my husband’s perspective when I told him about our exchange later that evening. He wasn’t surprised at all by our son’s reaction. Raising his hand up over his head, he explained, “Because in his eyes, you’ll always be up here.“ 🙂

8Mar2015

A Pinterest Win! Strawberry Chocolate Chip Cake

by Mom Meets Blog

Like the sailors lured to their doom on a rocky reef by the sweetness of her song, I’ve been known to heed the siren call of Pinterest, the visual social bookmarking site chock full of crafts, recipes, and all manner of creative endeavors from well-intentioned pinners the internet over. I do my fair share of pinning, and while I’ve certainly learned a thing or three, channeling my inner Barefoot Contessa and perfectly executing that glossily photographed salted caramel dulce de leche flan does not come naturally – or at all. To soothe those rankling feelings of inadequacy, I head on over to Pinterest Fail for a little commiseration time-out. Billed as a place where good intentions come to die, it chronicles hopeful pinners’ valiant efforts at replicating those glossily photographed projects, which have met with disastrous results. Communing with my fallen brethren in creativity gives me the courage to continue my own aspirational pinning, ever hopeful that I will chance upon a recipe I can actually pull off that bears some resemblance to the original.

Such is the case with this Strawberry Chocolate Chip Cake recipe I pinned from Julia’s Album, which she adapted from a Martha Stewart recipe.

Armed with my computer, a pound of strawberries I bought on sale, and a sanguine spirit, I tackled this recipe with surprisingly successful results! Light, delicious and bursting with strawberry-chocolatey yumminess, I’ve made this cake three times so far and taken one to a potluck dinner, where it was met with rave reviews. It usually lasts about two days at my house, and I know it’s a recipe I’ll be making for years to come. Oh, and let me share this direct quote from my son:

“It’s like heaven had a baby, and its name is Strawberry Chocolate Chip Cake”.

High praise, indeed!

Please note that the abundance of strawberries tends to make this cake extremely moist, so it’s best kept refrigerated (where it should keep well for about a week, if it lasts that long!). My son and husband prefer to eat it cold; I like to microwave it for about 10-15 seconds on high so the chocolate chips get a little melty. It can also be frozen for up to 1 month, tightly wrapped in plastic wrap.

Check out the recipe below. My low-tech photos were shot with my iPhone, using the under cabinet lighting in my kitchen. Yeah, I’m no photographer either, but, like the cake, I think they came out pretty good!

Ingredients

1 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 and 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
3 tablespoons Greek yogurt
1 cup sugar
1 large egg
1/2 cup milk
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/3 cup milk chocolate chips plus more for sprinkling the top of cake (you can use milk chocolate chips or a combination of milk chocolate and semi-sweet chocolate chips)
1 pound strawberries, hulled and halved

Instructions

Heat oven to 350°F. Line the bottom of a 9×3-inch springform pan with parchment paper. Grease the side of the springform pan or square pan with butter or cooking spray.
Combine flour, baking powder, and salt together into a medium bowl.
In a separate large bowl, combine butter, Greek yogurt, and 1 cup sugar and, using electric mixer, beat on medium-high speed until light and fluffy – no more than 2 minutes.
Reduce speed to medium, mix in the egg, beat until light and fluffy. Then mix in milk, vanilla.
Keeping the mixer speed low, mix in the flour mixture, gradually, just until combined. Do not over mix.
Fold chocolate chips into the batter. Transfer batter to springform pan. Arrange strawberries on top of the cake, cut sides down and close together. Place chocolate chips in spaces in between.
Bake cake for about 1 hour until the top is golden brown and the tester comes out clean. OPTIONAL (I skipped this step): In the last 5-10 minutes of baking, you can take the cake out of the oven and sprinkle some more chocolate chips on top, pressing them lightly into the top of the cake (the top of the cake will already be baked and a bit crusty) – it will make for a nice presentation. Return to the oven for 5-10 more minutes, to allow chocolate to melt a bit.
When the cake is done baking, let it cool (still in the baking pan) on a wire rack. After cake has cooled for about 40 minutes, release the cake from the springform pan. At this point, if the cake is cool enough, slide your hand under the cake, between the parchment paper and the bottom portion of the springform pan and move the cake with the parchment paper attached to its bottom onto a cake plate.

Cake before baking

Fresh out of the oven. . . smells heavenly!

Strawberry Chocolate Chip Cake – it’s what’s for dessert! Thanks, Pinterest!

Visit me on Pinterest! What are your favorite Pinterest successes (or fails)? Let me know in the comments!

2Feb2015

For the ‘Sandwich Generation’ – What to Consider When Choosing a Nursing Home

by Mom Meets Blog

Like many across the country, my family is part of the ‘Sandwich Generation’. According to a 2013 Pew research report, “nearly half (47 percent) of adults in their 40s and 50s have a parent age 65 or older and are either raising a young child or financially supporting a grown child (age 18 or older).” Being in that position means that sometimes difficult choices have to be made. After much consideration, my mother-in-law, who suffers from late stage dementia, was recently placed in a nursing home. Up until that point she was receiving care in her own home, but a recent illness sparked the realization that she would be better cared for in a nursing facility. After that conclusion was reached another wrenching decision had to be made: where would she go? The Alzheimer’s Association has an excellent checklist of questions to ask and things to look for when choosing a facility. For example, in the section regarding services provided at the nursing facility, questions include:

Do you have an Alzheimer’s program? If so, is it designated as a Special Care Unit, which means the facility is specifically licensed by the state as a special unit?
What types of behavioral issues are you able to handle?
Do you keep documentation of all the behavior interventions you use? (Interventions are those things the staff should try in order to change or handle Mom’s behavior BEFORE they suggest medication as a solution.)
Are there written materials that explain the types of care provided at the facility and the associated costs?
Is there an active resident and family council that Mom and I can participate in?
Do you offer transportation services to doctor’s offices, dental appointments, etc.?
What services are available without leaving the building, such as dental care, vision care, podiatry services, hearing services, hair/beauty salon? Who pays for these services?
Are rehabilitation services available, such as occupational therapy, physical therapy, speech therapy or recreational therapy?

Other sections with questions and things to notice include:

The building and environment
Resident rooms
Resident appearance
Dining and meal service
Activities
Costs
Staff
Family responsibilities

Please bookmark this checklist for future reference. The Alzheimer’s Association has a wealth of information regarding care and support, research, and advocacy. If you have Alzheimer’s in your family (family history can be a risk factor for developing Alzheimer’s disease), consider having a discussion about the type of care you would like to receive if at some point it becomes necessary. Having a plan can be helpful during an incredibly stressful time.

Watch “The Nursing Home Decision – Memory and Alzheimer’s Disease” from Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine:

Are you part of the Sandwich Generation? How are you handling it – do you have any tips or suggestions? Let me know in the comments.

23Jul2013

Christmas (Cookies) in July

by Mom Meets Blog

Last week, in the midst of the summer scorcher that gripped most of the nation, the most popular place in town was the pool. Kids and adults alike jockeyed for position in its cooling waters, swimming laps, playing Marco Polo, or just chatting while trying to beat the heat. As the thermometer flirted with triple-digit temperatures and we took bets on when the heat wave would break, my friend pointed out that in just a few short months we could possibly be dealing with single-digit temperatures and double-digit snowfall.

That just made me think of cookies.

Not just any cookies, but my family’s favorite recipe, Chocolate Candy Cane Kiss cookies, which I start baking at Thanksgiving and continue baking right through Christmas. They’ve become a holiday staple at my home – when my son sees them come out of the oven he knows it’s the official start of the holiday season. Friends and family have come to expect them and they are perfect for gift giving (and leaving out for Santa on Christmas Eve). I found the original recipe here but substituted Hershey’s Candy Cane Kisses for the pastel cream mint kisses. The dough in this recipe also freezes up nicely so you can make it ahead of time and pull it out when you need it.

Ingredients:

1 ¼ cups all-purpose flour

½ teaspoon baking soda

2/3 cup packed brown sugar

6 tablespoons butter

1 tablespoon water

1 cup semisweet chocolate pieces

1 egg, lightly beaten

Hershey’s Candy Cane Kisses

1. In a small bowl, mix together flour and baking soda; set aside. In a medium saucepan or double boiler, combine brown sugar, butter, and water. Cook and stir over low heat until butter is melted. Add chocolate; cook and stir until chocolate is melted. Pour mixture into a large bowl; cool for 10 minutes.

2. Using a wooden spoon, stir the egg into the chocolate mixture. Stir in the flour mixture until combined. Cover and chill for 1 to 2 hours or until the dough is easy to handle.

3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Shape dough into 1 inch balls. Place balls 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Depending on the size you roll the dough, makes about 30-36 cookies.

4. Bake for 10 minutes. Remove and gently press a Kiss into center of each cookie. Transfer to wire rack and cool until melting mints are firm (I put them in the refrigerator for about an hour to firm up the Kisses).

5. Store at room temperature in an airtight container separated by layers of waxed paper for up to three days (if they last that long) or freeze for up to 3 months.

How do you beat the heat? Keep in mind that younger children have greater needs in the summer sun. Check out my post Helping Baby Beat the Summer Heat at FamilyCorner.com!

Photos courtesy of Google Images and mommeetsblog.com

18Mar2013

If You Smell Something, Say Something

by Mom Meets Blog

As moms we know that sometimes parenthood is no bed of roses, and we’ve all had our share of less than fragrant close encounters: dirty diapers, baby vomit, getting stuck in a conversation with someone at the PTA breakfast who was a little overzealous with the onion cream cheese from the bagel platter. These situations are usually easily resolved – something we can clean up or excuse ourselves from.

But what happens when the offensive odor makes its way into your home in the form of your son’s pubescent best friend? Most of my son’s friends are at some point on the puberty spectrum: a little peach fuzz here, some voice-changing there, but this poor kid needs help for his B.O. problem, stat! But what do you say to the little kid you’ve known since the first grade now sitting at your table scarfing down Mallomars and imbuing your upholstered dining room chair with his big kid stank? If you smell something, should you say something?

On this particular afternoon, another of my son’s friends provided me the opportunity to broach the subject:

“Dude, get your feet away from me! Gross!” one of the kids exclaimed as the three of them were bouncing around in the living room.

“What. Is. That. Smell?” said kid proclaimed loudly.

I knew what that smell was – puberty. What should I do? If it was my son, would I want someone to say something to him? How would my son feel? And would I be offended? Mortified? Embarrassed? Mortified, perhaps, but not offended. And embarrassment never killed anyone, but that stench might prove to be social suicide for this kid.

Perhaps I’d be grateful? Yeah, I’m going with grateful, and eager to rectify the situation as soon as possible. After all, who wants to be the smelly kid in school? Furthermore, who wants to be friends with the smelly kid in school? The boys just called him out on it – if they can smell it so can everyone else. Yes, I was doing him and his friends a solid by saying something.

Stifling my sensitive gag reflex, and armed with a bottle of Febreze, I called him over to the laundry room, out of earshot of the other boys. . .

“Sometimes I forget to put on clean socks and they start to smell,” he explained.

One whiff of him and I knew this went way beyond smelly socks. This kid was pungent – a mix of sweaty gym bag and stinky armpits, I tried to hold my breath as I smilingly asked him to hold out one foot and then the other so I could spray each sock. While I was at it I took the liberty of just casually crop dusting spraying his pants and shirt too. He didn’t seem to mind. Or be surprised. Has this happened to him before?

I gathered my mom wits about me and went for it:

“You know sweetie, you guys are growing up, and now when you run around and start to sweat, your bodies can get a little stinky, and not just your feet. Um, do you wear any deodorant?”

“Nah, I don’t use any of that stuff,” he laughed.

Obviously.

“Well, maybe it might be a good idea to have a talk with your mom about wearing some, okay? I’m sure there are kids in your class using it already. Because you don’t want other kids telling you smell funny, right? That’s not cool,” I said as nonchalantly as possible.

He thought about this for a fraction of a second, looking a little confused. Oh no, have I overstepped?

“Yeah, okay!” he shrugged, bounding brightly away from me and back to play with the other kids.

In that moment I realized that my tween was hurtling toward teen right along with his friends and there is nothing I can do to stop it; my only option is to just go along for the ride. And be there to guide his hygiene choices.

Will my son’s friend take my advice and stock up on the Axe products? Will he go home and tell his mom that I said her son stinks? I don’t know, but I’m keeping a keen nose out for my kid. And a bottle of Febreze handy.

Because puberty takes its time, and I can’t hold my breath that long.

Image courtesy of Google Images

9Apr2012

by Mom Meets Blog

I reblogged these quotes about Moms from More than Mothers. My favorites are #4, 13, 16, and 34. Which are your favorites?

More than Mothers

For the life of me I can’t remember where I got these great quotes about mothers! As soon as I recall the source I’ll let you know. If you’re a mom, or have a mom, or have ever met a mom, you’ll love these! My personal faves are the hilarious #10, 15, and 59, while number 20 made me choke back tears…

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one ~ Jill Churchill
Mothers are all slightly insane. ~ J.D. Salinger
My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. ~ George Washington
Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at…

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